Departing Words...

Act 1 scene iii shows us again Cleopatra playing on the emotion of Antony.  As Rome is under a civil war, Antony has intentions to go back.  As well as with the death of Fulvia, he has matters of the state to attend to.  The Queen goads at him with questions of sacred vials, and asks if his professions of love to her were the same he spoke to his wife.  Even feigning fainting, she strikes at his soul.  It brings the question to mind of how does Antony receive her words?  Is he so in love with her that he accepts the harsh criticisms of his actions?  Or does he believe that they are playful?  Or perhaps even believes her to be sincerely hurt?  Probably not the last, as anger does arise in him and he expresses it by telling her "You'll heat my blood.  No more."
How often do we in our own lives accept things we want them to be, instead of what they are?  Anger stems from us seeing the potential in a situation or a person, and it/they not living up to it.  We are emotional creatures, and often times react on those emotions.  Sometimes for the better, sometimes for not.  As we continue to explore Antony, we see he reacts out of emotion more and more.  I have to be careful not to admire the passion in him, as it reflects my own life.  My own awareness of that however, has lead me to be overly analytical and sometimes too calculated.  Earlier in my youth, I had done many things out of "the moment" and what I felt at that time.  Regardless of the outcome, never a healthy lifestyle.  Now, having experienced extreme lows as consequences for my youthly choices, I find myself at the extreme.  Weighing the options of cream in my coffee or no cream ad nauseum, I sometimes find my coffee cold when I decide...Antony, however, a soldier, has been trained not to spend time weighing out options to react.  For if too much time is spent, lives could be lost.  His own, even.  I need to learn the balance of the two.  My constant joke is I'm a Gemini, so polar opposites I must be and have no choice in the matter.  Either I add cream instantly, or I let my coffee grow cold with indecisiveness.
Shakespeare yet again provides me with a window to my past, and a door to my future.

Personal Goals For This Play

As I embark on the next leg of my journey, I think about what I want to achieve.  While I am always open to letting the road lead me to where it takes, I still keep some general goals on the horizon.  I am always in a constant search of a deeper understanding of who I am and what makes me "tic".  However, after coming off my scene performances of Henry IV, and The Tempest, in Beyond The Bars, I want to progress further.  A new play brings new depths.  New characters.  New explorations.  A reconnected actor in Megale brings a new element as well.
Truly though, my goals are selfish.  I look to get a richer understanding of the text of Shakespeare.  Progress my skills as an actor.  Continue my avenue as an outlet of expression.  Acting to me, Shakespeare, specifically, gives me an opportunity to express all the deep emotions that make up who I am.  Having worked on only two projects, this being my third, I look forward to recreating the experience I had prior: taking the characters, and relating their experiences to my own.  When I look into why Cleopatra does this, or Antony that, or Caesar this, I can break down what I believe the reason is for them doing it.  Whether it is insecurity, scorn, or submissiveness, finding ways to relate to that emotion from my past gives me an opportunity to understand myself better, and in turn grow as an individual.
The hopes that I have from anyone who I work with, are to help push me into digging deeper.  Help me find a rawer nerve, and explore it.  I try to do the same with them.  I hope to move forward with who I am as a man, a father, a friend, a son, a brother.

Antony's Dilemma

In the conversation between Enorbabus and Antony (Act I, Scene i), the laughter and joking banter between the two suddenly turns serious.

Antony has realized that Pompey has become a real threat, and has come to the conclusion that Rome is in a grave sense of danger. Antony has also come to a realization that Cleopatra has distracted him from the seriousness of the trouble caused by his wife Fulvia, among other things.

This exchange between Enorbabus and Antony has sparked in Antony an inner reflection on his own morality in this matter. Antony is torn between Cleopatra and his responsibilities in Rome.

What is Shakespeare's message about messengers?

In Act I, Scene ii of Antony and Cleopatra, Cleopatra's attendants Charmian and Iras ask a soothsayer to tell them their fortunes, and Anthony learns from his messengers that his wife Fulvia is dead.
What might Shakespeare be implying, or inviting us to think about, by giving such prominent roles to the soothsayer and the messengers in this scene, and in the play more generally?