As I embark on the next leg of my journey, I think about what I want to achieve. While I am always open to letting the road lead me to where it takes, I still keep some general goals on the horizon. I am always in a constant search of a deeper understanding of who I am and what makes me "tic". However, after coming off my scene performances of Henry IV, and The Tempest, in Beyond The Bars, I want to progress further. A new play brings new depths. New characters. New explorations. A reconnected actor in Megale brings a new element as well.
Truly though, my goals are selfish. I look to get a richer understanding of the text of Shakespeare. Progress my skills as an actor. Continue my avenue as an outlet of expression. Acting to me, Shakespeare, specifically, gives me an opportunity to express all the deep emotions that make up who I am. Having worked on only two projects, this being my third, I look forward to recreating the experience I had prior: taking the characters, and relating their experiences to my own. When I look into why Cleopatra does this, or Antony that, or Caesar this, I can break down what I believe the reason is for them doing it. Whether it is insecurity, scorn, or submissiveness, finding ways to relate to that emotion from my past gives me an opportunity to understand myself better, and in turn grow as an individual.
The hopes that I have from anyone who I work with, are to help push me into digging deeper. Help me find a rawer nerve, and explore it. I try to do the same with them. I hope to move forward with who I am as a man, a father, a friend, a son, a brother.
Nick, this is inspiring! I do take issue with one comment above, however. Your work is not only, or primarily selfish. What is a talent with no one to witness it? What is a personal insight, with no one to share it with - no relationship in which to bring that insight into fruition? Our work with Shakespeare has brought you into community, and it continues to do so! I look forward to hearing more about your take on Anthony and Cleopatra, and the ways that Shakespeare's language provokes new insights for you.
ReplyDeleteJonathan, I see your point. Perhaps I spoke a little out of sorts. My intent with the word selfish, was/is that I seek growth for myself. You start an interesting dialogue however, when you ask "what is personal insight, with no one to share it with?" Yes, it is great to be able to have a community, and people, and relationships, to share that with; or share anything. Yet, if I were a man on an island, with no connection to anyone else; and no one in the world knew of my existence, I would still seek a greater understanding of all things (or like to think). What is great about Shakespeare, is that we have an entire world to ourselves of people that do indeed share our interests. And yes, the reality is I/we are in a society, a community. So I do seek to share the insight I find. Present the talent that I possess to those intrigued enough to give me audience. And I look forward to it!
ReplyDeleteNick, you write:
Delete"...if I were a man on an island, with no connection to anyone else; and no one in the world knew of my existence, I would still seek a greater understanding of all things (or like to think). What is great about Shakespeare, is that we have an entire world to ourselves of people that do indeed share our interests."
Shakespeare wrote something that resonates powerfully with that thought:
King Richard II, Act V, Scene v:
Richard:
I have been studying how I may compare
This prison where I live unto the world:
And for because the world is populous
And here is not a creature but myself,
I cannot do it; yet I'll hammer it out.
My brain I'll prove the female to my soul,
My soul the father; and these two beget
A generation of still-breeding thoughts,
And these same thoughts people this little world,
In humours like the people of this world,
For no thought is contented. The better sort,
As thoughts of things divine, are intermix'd
With scruples and do set the word itself
Against the word:
As thus, 'Come, little ones,' and then again,
'It is as hard to come as for a camel
To thread the postern of a small needle's eye.'
Thoughts tending to ambition, they do plot
Unlikely wonders; how these vain weak nails
May tear a passage through the flinty ribs
Of this hard world, my ragged prison walls,
And, for they cannot, die in their own pride.
Thoughts tending to content flatter themselves
That they are not the first of fortune's slaves,
Nor shall not be the last; like silly beggars
Who sitting in the stocks refuge their shame,
That many have and others must sit there;
And in this thought they find a kind of ease,
Bearing their own misfortunes on the back
Of such as have before endured the like.
Thus play I in one person many people,
And none contented: sometimes am I king;
Then treasons make me wish myself a beggar,
And so I am: then crushing penury
Persuades me I was better when a king;
Then am I king'd again: and by and by
Think that I am unking'd by Bolingbroke,
And straight am nothing: but whate'er I be,
Nor I nor any man that but man is
With nothing shall be pleased, till he be eased
With being nothing.